Ogimi - words of love and encouragement

In Okinawa (Japan) people get old. The town Ogimi is officially known as the place where people reach the highest age in the world. Lots of things contribute to their wellbeing: food, exercise, friendships, staying active...

In this Dutch travel programm '3 op reis' Floortje tells that 3 times a day a message from the town's commity of Ogimi is announced through speakers placed around town. The following is an example of such a message at 6.30 pm and it got it me.

"Everything allright, beloved towns people of Ogimi? Did you have good day again? It is now time to go home. And then do something at home that serves you in your life. Study, or something else wonderful. Let's help each other. We encourage you to make your dreams come true and challenge yourself. This was a message from the town's commity of Ogimi."

Just imaging what our world would be like if only we all heared this, where spoken to like this, every day.
Just imagine....


(Oh, and I am moving to Okinawa...!)

Episode '3 op reis' of September 21, 2014.

sincerely

I think it useful if we would sincerely open up about what swirls around inside... have conversations that aim to bring us further then where we started from, heal, bring insight, find our common denominator, reach for eachother, find understanding... if we would sincerely share, show our underbellies. Beyond shame, beyond prejudice, beyond pain, beyond upbringing, beyond culture and race, gender and religion. Then, then I think together we can go way beyond anything we ever imagined or held possible.

I dream of those kind of conversations.

Ellen Page dicusses her coming-out experience with Ellen DeGeneres

On Upworthy.com....
http://www.upworthy.com/ellen-page-discusses-her-coming-out-experience-with-ellen-degeneres-in-a-remarkable-segment?c=ufb1

For the most part it isn't about the actual celebraty person coming out (though it has undoubtably mayor effects in their personal lifes), but more about saying that we're out there in massive amounts and will make ourselves known, cause so many still want us to plainly dissapear and take whatever measurements they think are alowed to make that happen.

zoefen

Zij kustte. De spanning was seconden, minuten ervoor voelbaar. De vibe was lekker. Was het hun eerste kus? Want zij giegelde zo beschaamd en ze proberen hun normale conversatie te hervatten. "[...] to verify the connection," hoor ik over de tafel. Zij spreekt, hij is duidelijk Hollands. Zij is een echte catch voor hem.
Hij grijpt haar heupen, zijn gezicht is rood. Hij kan haar zo uren doen. Het voelt vol verse bloemen, vol potentie en seks. Zij leunt in. Er is nog geen seks geweest. Misschien is ze preuts. Hij loopt met een securitypasje. Is zij alleen een tussendoortje? Beseft zij dat? Is hij oprecht? In zijn lust sleept hij haar voor uren mee. Of komt er een huwelijk met kinderen van?
Het gesprek verloopt onwennig. Hij kust haar knie.

lente

een andere lente
waar jij was is lucht
ik leef mijn leven
verandert

Make me over

I love me a makeover show. I am talking about fashion; though I am not passing up on design and interior transformations. I like to see the ones which have attention for the actual person and also look at how that person got to be that way in the first place, qhich solidifies the makeover. Plus give real good practical tools to apply in real life. Trinny and Susannah, Stacey London and Clinton Kelly, Tim Gunn, Gok Wan; to name a few stylists. But something is starting to irritate me.

"I guess I have been focusing on taking care of everyone else, everyone around me, making them my priority, that I've never given myself or how I dress any thought. As long as it's comfortable. There is no time in the day for me." I am getting a full on allergic reaction from these kinds of explanations from mainly women on why they never put any effort in themselves. And 'them' is usually the kids and the husband. Really, do we still want to portray this kind of role model? I think it is important in a world were women are still fighting for their rights that we women send out the message that we matter, that we are important, respect ourselves, that we show that we care about ourselves. Because if we don't how are others going to take us seriously in any field?

I think that there are many ways to dress ourselves. And no, I am not advocating that we all should look like supermodels, that we run to the nearest plastic surgeon, do anything to stay young (quite frankly: should that even be our goal as society?), or that we start slapping on tons of make-up. Every woman has an unique beauty which can be expressed in a rainbow of different ways. There is no such thing as standard beauty. To take care of that beauty, show it, is a service to mankind. Not to mention our kids. Cause, what are they to think of their future? That life is over after a certain age or marriage? Or that women are disposable and men don't have to treat them with respect?

What I really find troubling is that we still seem to think it admirable that a woman puts herself last in order to take care of her loved ones. "And now it's time for you, becasue you've always put everyone else first. Now you get to treat yourself, focus on you for a change." As if it's obligatory to first shrivel into nothing before you deserve the grand prize of taking care of yourself. Like you have to earn it, put in the miles first. Why not start of on the right foot and get it right in the first place?

Celebrate! Stop being worried about what everyone else thinks. Respect ourselves and have others respect us in return. And please, it is not vain to present yourself in the best way possible. It is your duty!

son

My child doesn't owe me anything. Never in his life does he have to feel that he owes me. He doesn't have to do anything for my love, ever; it's there.

I'm not making sacrificies; I don't want anything in return. The love is there; I don't pretend I have any control over that. Him in my life, is the best gift I ever got. It is me who does the repaying for I never thought I would receive something that huge.

If life was a game, these are the rules...

1. You will receive a body
2. You will be presented with lessons
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned.
5. Learning never ends.
6. 'There' is no better then 'here'.
7. Others are only mirrors of you.
8. What you make of your life is up to you.
9. All the answers lie in yourself.
10. You forget all this at birth.

(I heared this at an Oprah show years ago.)

An ounce

Receipe for personal success; add to own vessel:

• gutspa
• faith that good will prevail
• uniqueness, flexibillity to be oneself
• vision, abillity to grab the future
• abillity to express in language, film, photo, singing
• innerpeace and calm to know that all you have to do is be yourself.
• strenght that is compassionate
• seeing beauty
• appreciate your journey and that of others
• being quiet within
• get ride of sugar addiction
• love

Letting go

It was on the last day of 2010. I took my son to the small beach near my house. In advance I had prepared three little paper 'boats' with a tiny candle in it. I told my son that with these 'boats' we would say goodbye to the past year, and at the same time wish for good things for the year to come. One was for him, and we sent that one off first. It driffted out slowly but surely with its light flickering. The second was mine.
Then there was a third and final 'boat'. I had said that it was a special one. I closed my eyes and silently said goodbye to my ex-partner and the relationship we had had. With a little push I sent it on the water, with it I let go, gave it back to the universe in order for me to start a new.

My idea is inspired by 'Loy (Loi) Krathong', a Thai festival where they sent beautiful decorated rafts (with candles and flowers, and insense sticks and sometimes fruit) on to the river or sea. Apart from the Thai honoring Buddha and the Goddess of Water, the act of floating away the candle raft is to believed to be symbolic of letting go of one's grudges and anger, so that one can start life a fresh. I think it is a lovely tradition; plus the sight of all those rafts on the water with the candles, is gorgeous . If you ever have the change, it is a wonderful ritual to experience.

I like celebrating New Years; love the fireworks. This time making a real point of leaving the past year behind.

PS: There are also parts in Thailand where they let up 'paper balloons' with candles, instead of rafts on water.

to live

I always wonder if you need to travel the world in order to gain understanding, compassion and general understanding that there is more out there then your own view of reality. Do you need to see it before you can expand your mind.

And what about staying in one place, letting your roots go wild and really learn about the people and their lives. Dig deep.

I know people who travelled the world, even settled somewhere else. I also know others who have their entire live set in one place with family close by.
I know people with wisdom and modesty towards all creatures of live. And I know persons who haven't gone beyond the limits of preconceived notions.

Does it make a difference what you choose? Stay or wonder the globe. Each side debates the advantages of what their choices have brought them.
I see beauty in all their journeys.

to love

What do you love about me?
Is it my legs, my eyes or even the way I speak?
Does it matter that I am a woman?

Does it matter in the long run?
Could you see beyond my physics? See my soul?
Is that what makes you stay through time?

Why would it make a difference if I turn out to be a male?
Does my caracter pull any weight in your abillity to love me?

ease

Yesterday I stepped in my car to drive home from a days work. I had parked next to the water and my eye went along the other shoreline, because there docked a beautiful ship.

What I saw then is my idea of relaxing: two elderly people sat on simple chairs, enjoying the nice weather and freedom by reading their newspaper or magazine. Totally at ease.

Happiness is in the smallest things and is easily achieved. Pause and look, be aware.

Piece and tranquillity

I have a wish for moms, dads, parents in general: to be relieved of the pressure of being the perfect parent with the most perfect child.

A friend of mine said recently: "Every parent reinvents parenthood." The thing is, she is right. You can look for support closeby or ask professionals. There are many organisations, magazines, books etc. which try to provide us with knowledge, tips and insights. They are most helpful, even if it's just to make you feel you're not the only one dealing with a certain issue.

But for the most part you've got to make parenthood your own. It's a constant learning curve as the child itself grows mentally and physically in the most rapid out-of-this-world speed. And while your personality maybe very suitable to deal with potty training, it doesn't mean that dealing with a four month old baby and going to solid food is something you know how to handle. Let alone guide him or her through puberty or even elementry school. That is why one day you're going to have to admit that you've made some mistakes along the way. It makes us human.
Now that wouldn't be a problem if we didn't put so much pressure on the job at hand. And while you do the best you can, with the best intentions, you have to realise: so does everybody else.
This has nothing to do with being concerned about some child's wellfare, or having different poitns of view on how to raise a child. Or even cultural differences. While something may not work for you, it can make a world of difference in another household.

So here's my wish: that we support and respect eachother as parents. For one we wouldn't feel so alone in dealing with the day to day matters. Judging other parents and making it into a contest on who has the better child, don't help us at all. Especially women should know better and stop competing over learning abillities, potty training, first steps, sleeping through the night, clothes, sports, when a child could make a stack of blocks, ect. It makes us look ugly.
A child benefits from a postive environnement. And if we want them to learn to respect each and every person on the planet, then why not start at home and treat other parents with compassion. I think it will change our world.

My good thoughts go out to all parents who try to raise sensible, healthy human beings who know the principle of giving back, caring about others and finding their own unique talent. May you find piece and confidence in yourself.

Opinion

It's my opinion.
Not a question of life and death.
Nor does it matter,
or translate to anyone else.

The Power Rhythm

pause - organise - work - excell - recreate

(Not mine, but boy does it give perspective. As if the world just gently opened itself up and everything is possible.)

Passwords

Give the passwords you use, a personal touch. We have so many with this virtual life we lead.
Don't just think of your kids names, if you have kids. Think of your favorite fruit, or vacantion spot, or places you'll love to visit. Anything. Maybe your favorite designer or supermodel. It makes a boring business like having a multitude of passwords that much more fun to use. It draws you into your innerlife.

And no, I am not going to tell you the ones I use...

Fresh flowers

I heared Oprah say this years ago, and I live by it.

Buy fresh flowers. Never, never, never put artificial flowers in your home. If you can't afford a whole bunch, buy just one. Believe me, it brightens your day.

Grass

At the start of a warm day walk barefoot on grass that hasn't been touched by a sunray. Or in the middle of a day find a large tree and walk on the grass in its shadow.